Tuesday, December 8, 2009


I've been very busy lately, adjusting to a new schedule.

Will Write Soon

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Smartest Thing Anyone's Ever Said

Bill Maher made a documentary called "religulous" about the stupidity behind religion (one of my favorite topics) and at the end said the smartest and most important things I've ever heard:

"The plain fact is religion must die for mankind to live. The hour is getting very late to be able to indulge in having key decisions made by religious people, by irrationalists, by those who would steer the ship of the state not by a compass but by the equivalent of reading the end-trails of a chicken. George Bush prayed a lot about Iraq but he didn't learn a lot about it. Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith and enable and elevate it are our intellectual slave-holders keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do. Most people would think it's wonderful when someone says " I'm willing Lord, I'll do whatever you want me to do." Except that since there are no Gods actually talking to us that void is filled in by people with their own corruptions and limitations and agendas. And anyone who tells you they know they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you don't. How can I be so sure? Because I don't know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not. The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the "big questions" is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion. But doubt. Doubt is humble and that's what man needs to be considering that human history is just a liden of getting shit dead wrong. This is why rational people, antireligionists must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves, and those who consider themselves only "moderately religious" really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace comfort that religion brings them actually comes at a terrible price. If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence and sheer ignorance as religion is you'd resign in protest. To do otherwise is to be an enabler, a mafia wife to the true devils of extremism that draw their legitimacy from the billions of their fellow travelers. If the world does come to an end here or wherever or it limps into the future decimated by the affects of religion inspired nuclear terrorism lets remember what the real problem was that we learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it. Thats it, grow up...or die."

Bill Maher

Watch the entire documentary:

Visit documentary-log.com for free online documentaries!


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Pat on the Back

I was at Liz's the other day, we were joking around and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror which stopped my train of thought. At that moment I reached a new plateau in my life. At that moment I thought "You know..I'm happy with this guy, I'm happy with how he looks, how he thinks, how he carries himself. He's not done yet, but he's on his way." I've been through a lot in nearly two decades, hell I'm challenged and tested everyday. Whether it be a bad driver on the road or having my identity stolen. I've learned the emotional warrants of a majority of situations in the spectrum. I've made mistakes, terrible mistakes. I've lied, I've cheated I've the broken hearts of a lot of girls. I laughed in secret as they confessed their love for me and I reciprocated. I've set bridges a blaze used their fire to light a cigarette and watched them burn. I've lived my 20 years in two different bodies and have fallen victim to gluttony and bulimia. I've made my purpose to please others, to make them laugh in an effort to disguise my insecurities. It would be fair to say I've lived several lives and through my successes and failures I've learned a few lessons. I've learned to see this world and the race that inhabits it the way it exists. That is, the human race is as good as it is evil in every aspect. We have the power to create as we have the power to destroy it is what side of the choice we fall on that alters our perception. I've learned to always stay in control of your emotions in every situation. Always focus on solving the issue at hand, emotional instability will distort your vision of any goal. Moderation and priorities are essential no matter your endeavors. The list of traits necessary to survive on this earth grows each day. These lessons don't compose a complete list, they're simply the bread and water of those I've learned thus far. To reiterate, I have made many mistakes; yet I have learned from them so much so that I'm comfortable enough to not only acknowledge them but do so publicly. I believe that deserves a pat on the back.

"In order to survive you've got to learn to live with regrets."

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Guest Starring: Arash Vatan Parast

"Isolation of one self from others can either have great results or bad. In my specific case it couldn’t get any better for me. In isolation one may learn too much, so much so, that ones who don’t want to be known become known. In my specific case I have been surrounded by many fakes. Fakes, as in those who stick around when things are great and disappear when all is not good. Being isolated for the past few months from certain people has proven to me a lot. In this time of isolation I haven’t been exactly experiencing paradise; mostly disappointment, frustration, and loneliness. Those who have disappeared used to be seen as the closest to me. Maybe they’ve given me one phone call to only express their disgust towards a situation that does not even have to do with me. Instead of showing support they turn their backs to me and love to hate when I fail. And for that very reason, I must succeed. I must succeed to win; to win between me and them and to win for myself. I am ever the most motivated and I say to those who have turned their backs to me, “Watch out!” the forecast shows 100% storm damage. This storm will not stay quiet and is hitting the EAST COAST with full force. Anything and everything in my path is up for destruction! I will succeed so much that those who hate will crawl back and ask for forgiveness, but that’s when it’s too late. I will be so far above them and so much greater than them, that I can’t turn around. It will be too late. Till that day comes I must be stay on track and never lose sight of my end point. My end point of success…
My message of 2009

As always Arash and I are on the same wavelength 180miles away. I too am making a conscious effort to remove myself from others in an effort to grow spiritually and create more progress on paper. In doing so I haven't received as many calls or texts, and have not made many excluding those to two or three people. I'm only concerned with surrounding myself with people who make me better. People who push me to work harder, and people I can ask for advice. One of the elements in my personality that is both positive and negative is that I believe everyone is replaceable. But what you see above is a quote from someone in my life who isn't. I have friends with lots of flare and charisma; however I would think twice before venting to them or asking for their advice on personal issues. Arash stimulates the core analytical being within me. He is the only person I've ever met who is similar to me. Not in likes and dislikes, but in state of mind. He constantly provides thought provoking advice and insight in areas where I fall short. He challenges me to be best person I can be and I believe if we were in the same state once more I'd reach a level of success I had not forcast for years to come. What you've witnessed is a very short version of an "ally-oop of the mind" one tosses up a topic, the other slam-dunks it for a W

Find a good friend

Monday, September 28, 2009

Cross Over

Here's a set from one of my favorite comedians David Cross. I think he does a brilliant job in exposing the stupidity behind religion.



I recently saw a film made in the 1970's entitled "Faces of Death". The film guides the viewer through various explicit and disturbing violent acts and ways to die. In this film banned in over 50 nations, we're shown a man being decapitated, a patrolman attacked by an alligator and a fugitive shot to death by police officers among other similar events. Faces of Death has immediately become one of my favorite films for one reason. It sheds light on the aspect of life we all choose to keep in the corners of our minds. We've developed a world that refuses to acknowledge our own destiny. Death is a part of life, and on a grand scale I'm not certain I would label it unfortunate. Yes, it saddens all of us to lose family and friends, but death is a necessary evil. Without it our earth would be plagued with extreme overpopulation making life virtually unlivable. The film explores international customs, murder, attack and suicide in great visual detail. Death has always fascinated me because despite its familiarity humanity does not have a complete grasp on it. It is only when we understand death that we'll obtain a better understanding of reality. Personally I do not believe in fate and I do not believe in a higher power. I do however believe in coincidence and I believe in timing, which is constantly overlooked in my eyes. When someone is hit by a bus it is because their path collided with that of a bus. Timing and circumstance should be held responsible. None of us know what will be the cause of our demise. All we know is that it is inevitable. And all I know is that when my day comes, I hope I go laughing.

It's not death you should fear.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fall's First Weekend

This past weekend was the first weekend of fall. This is my favorite season because the weather cools down moderately and I'm able to tap into the largest section of my wardrobe. I went with earth tones this past Friday night. A mint green oxford collared shirt, olive trousers, brown top-siders (with socks) and a lined brown jacket. In the spirit of simplicity I'm planning to make long sleeved V neck t-shirts, corduroys and boots my default outfit. I'm also planning to dabble in jewelry. I'm discovering the art of composing an outfit instead of simply wearing expensive pieces, though my rule of quality over quantity still holds fast. I'm planning to be much more productive from this season on. Truely buckling down and working to accomplish my goals. Therefore I probably will not be going out as much. I've made a lot of personal and spiritual progress over the last few months and now it's time to make progress on paper.

Back to work

Monday, September 14, 2009

Looks I Love

A few Photos "borrowed" from Scott Schuman's page

The first thing I see is the pocket square. I love the contrasting patterns. The ensemble reminds me of 30's fashion infused with color. Dope.

I love the shoes. "No white after labor day" is dead.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The End Of Day

This composition is brilliant. I'm doing a full post live from 3-420 on the albums release date. Ive heard the entire album and its more like a movie, it has scenes for christ sake. I was taken on a journey I didn't even know music was capable of taking me on. But uhhh

Take a listen to the sample, if you're into Cudi, especially if you're not
Annnddd Pick up the album when it drops, which is four days after you purchase The Blueprint 3

Because you've got taste right?


Tuesday, September 1, 2009


A few posts ago I said that after hearing one third of The Blueprint 3 I didn't believe it was going in the right direction. Since then I had a talk with a good friend a mine who time and time again sheds lights on areas I seem to overlook about the current state of hip hop. I have also heard the entire album in order and I will just say that...my opinion has changed. I'm plan to re listen to it for the rest of the week and more so until its release date when I plan to write a review of it. But for now this is me, on the record, saying I was wrong and eating the words that left my mouth a few days earlier. Dig?


The Sartorialist

This is Scott Schuman. But anyone who reads GQ beyond a seldom frequency would know him more familiarly as The Sartorialist. I've followed Scott's fashion advice and tips every month for years without even knowing his real name. Creating my blog has made me familiar with what the ".blogspot.com" behind a domain name means as well as the falsehoods behind most them. You could imagine my skepticism upon seeing "The Sortorialist" appear in my list as a result of a Google search. However, I had nothing to lose from clicking the link. I did so and stumbled upon a page that was not only authentic but contained photos that had been featured in GQ for the last three years as well as ones that didn't make the issue. Scott's blog is a dynamic compilation of photographs he has taken of everyday people in extraordinary outfits. Schuman pauses his jet setting in Paris, Rome, Milan, London, Brussels to name a few, though the project is anchored in New York City. As much as I <3 & respect fashion there was a piece of me that doubted everyday people ripped the outfits/looks from the pages and made them their own. Scott's posts prove each time that high fashion is indeed alive in people all over the globe. Each post is a breath of fresh air, an inspiration and motivation to utilize every piece of clothing I own.

Thank you Scott Schuman for your beautiful documentation of high fashions transition to Main Street.

If you're into fashion, street-wear, photography or all three drop by: http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com


Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Best of This Guy


A flood of features and mixtapes have surfaced ever since "Tha Carter II"'s release. Hundreds of high caliber verses combined to form a perfect storm over the last 2-3 years. It seemed like each time I crowned a verse as top dog one released the next week made me reconsider my lyrical crowning. The verses finally appear to be flowing at a manageable pace making it possible to review each drop in the bucket and order them based upon exceptionality. Just about every verse Wayne spits is lyrically potent. Therefore, I made my decision based upon length, consistency and flow. It is as follows:

5. Sportscenter-This verse reminds me of the gun Will Smith was given in "Men in Black" (The Cricket I think it was called) it's small but it packs a huge punch. The entire track is under three minutes long but in that time you're completely astounded. The beat is original, the flow is spot on and the sports motif is executed flawlessly.

["Lookin' for a lady, high and sedated got her to the pad I dont know how a nigga made it, she gave me relations so now we're related, the morning comes the picture faded"]

4. Get 'Em (Dedication 2)- It was pretty easy for me to place this one on the list. The way it begins is full of poise and lets you know immediately that he's about to put forth an extra effort. This track is full of energy and charisma. Wayne's voice sounds great over the beat and he shows off a very high level of lyricism and flow. He always does exceptional work when he and Drama pair up and this is a great example of that, this could be the best song in the entire dedication series.

["Walkin' that line with a lot on my mind, I get that money never droppin a dime, I dont hate never not on my time, I'll put that little red dot on your mind, talkin' that crime but a lot of 'em lyin'"]

3. Knuck if You Buck
-Wow. This song is the one that really made me respect Wayne as an artist. Definitely one of the most popular young money songs created. It's one of the songs where the beat drops and everyone's like "yesssss" and prepares to recite. A great beat as well as a difficult one to rap over. Mac Maine gives a very nice introduction, his first line is a great quotable. You hear Wayne ad libbing through the first building suspense and he destroys it. This is the song where I had to begin incorporate additional factors into the ordering process. He's simply relentless over the beat, its an amazing exhibition of his flow and the lyrics are utterly amazing. He literally out performs the beat and makes everyone forget about the songs original artists, it belongs to Wayne now. The first time I listened to it I had to stop it several times due to overload. He throws so much at the listener at once and you figure a few mistakes may have went unnoticed in the process but upon re listening you realize every single line is perfect.

["challenge me, that'd be to my advantage, I'm outstanding like standing outside up in a twister and walking not damaged, standing outside up in a blizzard and walking hot handed, serving nickle bags in Iraq bet I will not panic, swerve the nickle black if i wreck? bet i will not panic, cop another one the next day and drive it crazier."]

2. Tha Mobb- This is where length started to come into the equation. This is number 2 because this is how he began the his album. He gave a taste with "Fly In" and made us wonder what was coming up next then he stuffs a flawless verse down our throats. Its relentless. For five minutes he raps. Over a beat with a simple melody some snare and some base. It actually sounds like the beat is crying from a lyrical beating. There's so much going on in this song simultaneously. This song doesn't make you press pause due to the energy it carries. You instead sit in silence nodding your head becoming more captivated with each line, and just as you become comfortable with the idea that you may be in the middle of the a ten minute rap song...it stops. But when it does you're changed, something different, something that wasn't there before you pressed play, and that is a feeling of certainty that you've just witnessed history being made.

["It's young tune the big kahuna, it's my ocean baby ya'll niggas is tuna, better now than sooner, junior, flyin' round your city tryna take a number two on ya"]

1. I'm Me -"The hottest nigga under the sun" starts an audio montage into one of the greatest rap songs ever made. This song is number one for length, quality, flow and genius. If I'm in an situation where someone claims Lil' Wayne isn't all he's cracked up to be. I select this song and right before pressing play remind them that what they're about to hear was never written down..ever. This song is number one because its epic. Its the song that changes the entire mood of a room when played. It's almost God-Like. You picture him upon a mountain top rapping with an orchestra at his back and a sea of awe stricken people at his face. This song finalizes Wayne's identity. All doubt ceases to exist. For four minutes fifty five seconds Lil' Wayne is the best rapper alive. This is the his best song because it's his most important song. There are nonbelievers before it but all are converted. It wasn't released on a widely popular mixtape, This masterpiece was peppered in a mixtape that many were unaware of, but once discovered his mass popularity was undeniable.

["Niggas ya'll don't see me cause Im better in bold, the only time I will depend is when I'm 70 years old, that's when I can't hold my shit within so I'll shit on myself, cause I'm so sick and tired of shitting on everybody else."]


Blood Never Tasted This Good

I remember seeing posters for True Blood's freshman season on Buses downtown and disregarding them. Soon after, the twilight epidemic hit at which point I began making jokes of those partaking in new vampire fad. I decided to watch Twilight to conclude whether this film was worthy of all the hype...it wasn't. Later I was told that the books (just as in the Harry Potter series) were what people were falling for. The movie was meant to capture another audience and of course, to act as a marketing tool. Nevertheless I steered clear of the entire genre and continued making fun of those doing otherwise haha. A few months later I was browsing the "On demand" menu and noticed a season one summary for True Blood. I became a fan almost instantly. The only topic it shares with Twilight is that it contains vampires. I've never been captivated by a show based upon such fantasy. The show is presented believably. The vampires don't fly, wear capes or talk in a Transylvanian accent. Human beings and vampires have learned to coexist with one another though there is an unspoken and mutual hatred between the two races. Humans see vampires as unnatural children of Satan while vampires see humans as a destructive and foolish people that are meant solely for nourishment. The show incorporates the christian faith into this modern day scenario and the result is fascinating. The show reduces the human race and in doing so presents the viewer with an alternative perspective of it. Comedy, lust, suspense and passion arrive at their best each week and combine to make True Blood one of the best shows on television.

HBO has done it again.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Blueprint 3 Prediction

I can recall browsing Youtube over a year ago and coming across a video of Pharrell Williams working in the studio. During the interview the journalist asked him if the rumors surrounding the production of Blueprint 3 were true. He then replied "Jay hasn't approached me yet for anything like that but if he did it.." "would be amazing?!" the interviewer interjected "...it would be, scriptures" Pharrell replied. He said so in a tone that suggested nothing short of rap history would be made. With confirmation coming later in the year and even more so with the release of the albums first single "DOA (Death of Autotune)" hip hop fans (especially those in NY) are awaiting the only event significant enough to distract them from the chaos that engulfed the country eight years earlier.
It goes without saying that this album is monumental. Which is why it pains me to say that I'm a bit disappointed with what I've heard thus far. I have heard four tracks. "DOA", "Run this town", "Off That" and "Venus & Mars." I thought DOA was great. It was a statement only Jay-Z could make as the Godfather of rap and the video stood behind the track perfectly. There's no visible flash, He lets his reputation test our knowledge just as he should. "Run this town" was decent, it's pretty difficult for Jay, Kanye and Rihanna to produce a bad song. The video was good, it was (just as Jay said ) all black everything, and the mob motif was dope. The second two songs I've heard just seem unnecessary. [SPOILER!] Off that features Drake on the hook, Jay boasts about how he's resides at a superior level than the rappers who claim to be such a big deal, all in a material sense. "Venus & Mars" is another material song which is about Jay and "shorty" who have different material tastes. And that explanation is all the song deserves because it doesn't deserve to be on the album. I have no respect for these two tracks. He isn't going very hard on either of them and they're discussing unnecessary topics. The best rapper alive who's worth half a billion dollars, owns a sports team and is married to Beyonce doesn't need to tell those who look up to and/or imitate him that he's on a higher level than they are; nor should he be making tracks where he refers to the female co-star as "shorty".There are very high expectations for this album, as there should be. There is no room for "fillers" on Blueprint 3 or on any Jay-Z album for that matter. He showed us the effort he puts in to each project on The Black Album's "My First Song". It shedded a lot of light on his previous projects and made them shine even brighter. But thus far into Blueprint 3, this is the first time I don't believe him.

The other 11 tracks had better be of religious proportion... I was promised "scriptures"


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Scene Change

About a week ago I decided to take a trip up to the Pocono Mountains and I must say it's the best decision I've made all summer. I haven't seen another car or person in over a week. I cut up a few fallen trees with a chainsaw, caught a few fish and cooked them over an open fire and I probably had the best view of the recent meteor shower out of anyone I know. I never considered myself as a fan of the outdoors but this trip has proved otherwise. It's just so peaceful up here. When night falls it falls HARD. Visibility is nonexistent up here and I love it. I can yell as loud as i want, play music throughout the cabin at full volume and not have to worry about disturbing anyone. I've found there are lessons to be learned outside of city life. I've developed an appreciation for the wilderness, the places on earth that have remained untouched by the hands of men. Places where simplicity and dense vegetation still remain. I absolutely want to have a house in a location where nature steals the scene every season. Locations such as these have a power of which I was unaware. The power to make one forget. I brought my laptop with me to write but even with all the comforts of home, wireless internet and cable television, I find myself outside hiking or climbing trees rather than on the couch watching television with my computer on my lap. I haven't browsed FBK nearly as much because frankly I have no interest in what others are doing or what's on their minds. Your new pictures from the beach or the song lyric you put in your status holds no weight up here haha. It seems as if I have the whole world to explore up here and what has occurred on the internet has already been recorded and will be in its location when I return. I feel rejuvenated, the air's fresher and I've amazingly awoken everyday at 8am on the dot without an alarm clock. My mind is clear and my nerves are calmed. Yes, the scene change has been good to me.

Change Locations

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Burry Me As...

[A cool photo and an interesting concept.]

I was recently thinking about death ( I know its a bit early). My thinking transformed from when and how I'd like to die (laughing of course) to what I want to be remembered as when I'm gone. I was not the person I am now until recently. My road to self discovery epitomized trial and error. I was constantly going through a trial of some sort (none criminal thankfully) and made enough errors for two people. Errors which others still use to define me. Upon seeing these people I would go out of my way to try and impress them in an attempt to exhibit the changes I've made. However, it is called the past because time has done just that. I have surrounded myself with too many open minded, nonjudgmental, forward thinking people to expend my efforts attempting to gratify the closed minded. As I ride along the road of self improvement I've concluded the aspects of my character I want to be especially remembered. First and foremost I want to be remembered as someone who loved to have fun. Someone who had impeccable taste in all aspects of life. Someone with life experience. Someone who was always well dressed and groomed. Someone who valued quality over quantity. Someone with a great sense of humor. A great father and husband. Someone who was charming. Someone who always put things in perspective. Someone who was always logical and reasonable. Someone who was well mannered. Someone who had an impeccable vocabulary. Someone who appreciated his friends. Someone who gave great advice. Someone who knew his talent and had a career which exhibited and exercised it. Someone who mastered his craft. Someone who was easy going and often in good spirits. Someone who was useful. Someone who worked to improve society and did. Someone who learned from every mistake he made. A great cook. Someone who appreciated appearances and vanity without being superficial. Someone who lived admirably. These are all characteristics I plan to maximize simultaneously as I age. This could be perceived as wanting to be perfect. I however, do not believe perfection exists on earth. I simply see a human being who possessed these characteristics as someone I would have the utmost respect for, someone I would look to for guidance, and someone I would gravitate towards.


Monday, August 10, 2009

The Analysis

[Circa July 1993 in case you were wondering]

What we have here are four of the most easily recognizable people on earth. Whether seen individually or all together Jerry Seinfeld will be recognized as himself, Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine, Jason Alexander as George and Michael Richards as a racist.. I mean as Kramer. For nine seasons these four ruled prime time television and changed what it meant to be a sitcom. Hell its still in syndication 10 years later and has controlled FOX's 7:30pm slot for as long as I can remember. Seinfeld without a doubt was the greatest television program of all time. This holds fast for several reasons, the first being its consistency. Whether you're laughing at one of the four main characters, George's parents, Mr. Steinbrenner, Kenny Bania, Uncle Leo, Newman or Jackie Chiles, you're always laughing. It is impossible to find a bad episode of Seinfeld and even more difficult to choose a favorite. What separates great television shows from the good ones is whether or not you can pop in a DVD from any season set it on random and be completely content with whatever episode happens to play. What separates the legends from the greats is if while watching whatever episode the random function selects you laugh as if you've just heard the joke for the first time even though you knew it was coming. But what separates Seinfeld from the legends is the connection we feel with the characters as we laugh hysterically at the jokes we are already familair with. Seinfeld reigns supreme because it is relatable at every level. We all may not have friends exactly like Jerry Elaine Kramer and George. But we all have a friend who's the voice of reason, a friend who's superficial, a friend who's a bit wacky and a friend who dwells on their shortcomings. We all have that friend whose house or basement or room or garage is kind of like headquarters. The place where you go just to get out of the house, where you grab a soda or some chips without asking, the place people outside your immediate group of friends refer to when they say "all they do is sit at (insert name here)'s house and (insert activity here). But most of importantly it's that place where you feel safe. Its where you've probably had the most intelligent and stupidest conversations. The place where you've probably slept over after having had a few too many. The place where your always welcomed and treated as family. Thats what made Seinfeld, Seinfeld. We all felt comfortable in Jerry's living room because it reminded us of our "place" we all felt comfortable in the coffee shop because we all also have that place we go when we feel like leaving headquarters. Seinfeld was successful because it provided the viewer with a level of comfort, familiarity and detail that was and never will be seen on television before or again. I'm not clairvoyant but I'm certain that there will never be another show viewers can relate to on such an elementary level ever again because comedy as a whole has evolved. It aired from 1989-1998 a much more conservative decade than that which followed it. The show's simplicity speaks for the decade's conservatism. Simplicity gave Seinfeld its relatable characteristic. We didnt see one or more of the four dealing with a superpower. We instead saw an avid superman fan toil with the reason being seeing the woman he was dating in the same dress each time he saw her; making him assume it was the only dress she ever wore and most likely possessing a closet full of them as his child/adulthood hero. We never saw a character in a race against time to save the earth. We did however witness a group of friends make a bet to see who could sustain from masturbating the longest. It showed us the comedy behind everyday life. It didnt give us glitz and glamor. It gave us a continuous cycle of three men and a woman who spent most of their free time in a friend's living room analyzing and resolving hypothetical and actual situations. Who seemed to simply go to work and go home, though somehow along the way finding themselves in the middle of another situation that needed to be discussed or resolved; at which point they return to Jerry's or Monks to do so. Seinfeld took small aspects from actual encounters in daily life, a woman with "man hands", a "low talker" or an eccentric soup chef and comically elaborated on them. We laughed so hard because it poked fun at such believable characters. Todays comedy is composed of jokes about racial stereotypes and sexual experiences...oh and lets not forget drugs and alcohol. Simplicity is nonexistent in television because it has been deemed unrelatable and unexciting. People dont consider life simple anymore; though all that has changed is an increase of expensive devices whose purpose is to make our lives simpler and more pleasant. Today every protagonist has a weird quirk his character is based around or is centered around entirely fictional situations. Seinfeld's writing and storylines was always spot on. The writers had a tremendous understanding of the characters, no line was ever uncalled for. This attention to detail painted a picture of each character so vivid that even an episode which depicted Elaine befriend a different group of 3 men each strongly resembling George Jerry and Kramer but with opposite tendencies was made. Seinfeld set precedents. It showed us how we could react in certain quirky situations while reminding us of the comedy behind each one. It gave us seinlanguage such as "low talker", "regifter" and of course "shrinkage" and did so with unmatchable poise. Years from now our children will stumble upon this treasure asking us to tell them all we know of the show, our recollections and how it grew to be so popular. We'll probably reply "We'll these two comedians sat down and created a comedy about a few things that happened to one of them...it starred the other one annnddd yada yada yada it became the best show of all time." And one day they'll understand.

Learn your Seinlanguage


Hiatus Explained/ Death of the Hiatus Part II

Its been too long. I dont know what it is that makes me take these unexpected hiatuses from writing...well thats not true its that I feel like I dont have anything worth saying..though the positive feedback Ive received proves the contrary. Its bittersweet each time I place the web address into my status bar on FBK and as it seems, lately the bitter has dominated my decision process. I come across in daily FBK browsing (which has significantly decreased after my last post) other people advertising their blogs and upon witnessing this my perfectionist element kicks in. An element Ive learned to turn down, even off in some cases, to be frank it was ruining my life. Ive instead learned aspire for what I deem rational and possible and to stay optimistic. Ive been much happier since doing so. But as someone on the road to ridding themselves of an addiction does, I relapsed..I relapsed and began to think what I released was insufficient because it was imperfect. Imperfect to the public, to those who've read, those who've complimented me, who've expressed envy over a talent I myself never knew I possessed. I left out my opinion, the most significant of all. I forgot to approach this the same way I learned to approach other elements of self expression. Fashion in particular. I used to dress well simply for compliments and to please others. I came across a quote while reading GQ last season I'll never forget: "the sartorial standard a man holds himself to is meant to please only him, others simply reap the benefits of his doing." The same holds true for the articulateness of my speech written or verbal. I hold myself at the level I currently reside for it is what I believe I should do and as I mature the level will increase...Wayne said something I related to:

See you have to understand the difference.
The difference between me and you is to you, this is your job.
To me, this is my life.
The club; that's my job.
The mall; that's my job.
Your neighborhood; that's my job.
This studio; this is my life.
This is what I do better than anything.
So why wouldn't I do this all the time?

Most people find it challenging to put their thoughts or feelings or questions on a page. Its easy for me. It wasnt always but it has become so recently. Its fun. I have a hundreds of thoughts running through my head all the time. Im always thinking about something. Most of them are smaller things but some of them are very important topics that I need to record when I address them. I analyze everything and every person I see down to the smallest element. I question them and look at the reasoning behind them, then put them in perspective according to how i view society. It's my nature, even when I dont look like Im doing it..Im doing it. It is what I do better than anything. So why wouldnt I do it all the time? I will only get better at it if i exercise this ability like a muscle, embrace it, let it flourish and mature with me. I dream of mastering self expression, achieving such a level of self knowledge that every word I utter need not be retracted under any circumstance according to myself or anyone else; that I live my life with a poise exhibiting this. And this is how it starts, by understanding myself and how I think, not being afraid or ashamed to inquire it, I can then attempt to understand the world around me.

I'll be addressing the following in my next posts:

My Change of Scenery.


True Blood.

How I'd Like to be Remembered.

The Sartorialist.

A Post From A Guest Writer Coming Soon.

Im back for good..

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My Take on Facebook

A rather obvious topic of discussion. Sitting at my desk savoring my ideal writing scenario the topic seemingly dropped from my ceiling, bounced off of my head and fell a top my key board. Here's a topic Ive discussed in moderate detail with friends of mine but never to the degree which i would have liked and never addressing the bigger theme it presents. Well..thats the purpose of this page.

Allow me to login..

Its what we follow beyond daily. The most efficient avenue to remain socially informed. With up to the second updates, viewing both alluring and unappealing information are inevitable. We all want to see pictures of our friend's trip to Europe. A high school video-chat conversation..not so much. But thats what facebook is..a program for everyone. For some its a well placed "poke" to get the attention of another. For others its a way to stay in touch with friends we're able to see only certain parts of the year. A melting pot of ages races and every demographic imaginable...in reality. Because on the surface our "friends" only show us what they want us to see. They're tagged in photographs that depict them as fun-loving, attractive and social. Photographs that project the persona they're striving to present. People aren't tagged in photographs when: they first get out of bed, they had a little too much fun at a social outing, they're doing something embarrassing, or even something bad. We (the facebook community) see what we want us to see. I particularly find that fact terrifying. That people have complete control over the exposure of the factors which determine how they're perceived. Facebook is a fantasy land. If one wants: to appear intelligent they can say their favorite books are "war and peace" and "the tipping point", to appear informed their favorite shows could be "anything on cnn" and "sportscenter." One's page depicts any role one wishes to play. To the extent of a relationship with another appearing of greater caliber than in reality. The fact of total control is not solely terrifying, its available on online dating sites. But those have something that facebook doesn't, doubt. People recognize others may dramatize their youth, physical attributes and salaries for the sake of attracting a mate. Doubt is non-existent on facebook. The general community trusts it, believes in it. If something appears on facebook its basis enough for its possible or actual occurrence. The most far fetched relationships seem possible when the heart icon appears upon a news feed. Just as everyone is shocked or pleased upon viewing the broken heart icon. Facebook is powerful. The power to turn two people against each other. For whenever one acts or presents evidence that conflicts the with the persona another is attempting to project, conflict arises.
The makers of facebook know how seriously the users take the program and how much time we spend on it and have developed brilliant ways to make it easier for us to stay logged in. The applications, the surveys, the fan pages, all accoutrement of a simpler grander idea. People love people. What two websites have had the largest growth in the last 5 years? Facebook and Youtube. What do they have in common? A simple premise, they're user fueled, Youtube is nothing but people watching videos other people posted. Facebook is nothing but following people's lives on what now is a momentary scale full of depictions of their events. People watching people. This is what the makers of these sites learned from reality shows. They projected the same response being the first big people watching people websites (after viewing the mistakes their predecessors made) that the first season of survivor received as television's first reality show. The human race likes to be considered as so unfathomably complex, yes its correct in some areas. But when it comes to what entertains us, what genuinely interests us, it is what other human beings are doing, how they live, who they're doing it with, what they're thinking. That in a way shows how self absorbed/curious we are, because we're what we want to know most about, we're what we're interested in. But I digress. If facebook is so simple and so fake..then why do we visit it several times a day, why is it the first website programmed into our heads to type into the address bar? I believe its for two reasons. One is because people are genuinely interested in what they're friends are doing (though some more than others). The other is that in some way we're in love with the ideal, the control. We all know the harsh realities of life, even the harsh realities of looking in the mirror. We all know that we're not exactly who we want to be in some aspect. Facebook takes that away. It portrays the topics, the fun loving social girl with 1000 friends from different locations. It glamorizes and glorifies that girl. But it doesn't show the details behind the topic, the insecurities that girl feels. That the reason shes so outgoing and has so many friends and people around her all the time is to distract her from her insecurities, that she really doesn't feel as attractive as all her friends tell her she is. No facebook doesn't show us that. It doesn't show us the tears. Afterall that's why we're all smiling in our photos. Because we don't want to see tears in our fantasy world, in our ideal. Hell we all see enough of them, cry enough of them even. I suppse a fake ideal is good..in a sense. Its therapeutic, its an escape from reality. The only real question is...

can you log out?..


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Dope Man

Jay has a song on Vol 3 entitled 'Dope Man.' I was really listening to it and heard some lyrics that moved me. They are as follows:

Right hand on the Bible, left hand in the air
Before I spoke one word, made sure my throat was clear
A-hem, I'm a prisoner of circumstance
Frail nigga, I couldn't much work with my hands
But my mind was strong, I grew where you hold your blacks up
Trap us, expect us not to pick gats up
Where you drop your cracks off by the Mack trucks
Destroy our dreams of lawyers and actors
Keep us spiralin, goin backwards
At age nine, saw my first hate crime
Blindfolded, expected to walk a straight line
Mind molded, taught to love you and hate mine
Climbed over it, at a early age, Jay shined
Fuck the system at Lady Justice I blaze nine
Your Honor, I no longer kill my people, I raise mine
The soul of Mumia in this modern day time

With all due respect I believe anyone who denies the existence of this is whom he's referring to.

Peter Pan

Today was ok, i didnt do what i planned to and im a bit disappointed, I went shopping and got everything i needed so i was pleased with that. About a half hour ago i started feeling extremely depressed. Its because at dinner i was eating Mahi Mahi, brockli, and salad while 3/4 things on my sisters plate were from the frozen food isle. My mom and I always tell her to monitor the types of food she consumes but shes 9 and doesnt really give a damn. It later dawned on me that i miss that. I miss the thoughts and beliefs of youth. I miss eating any food without knowing or caring about the effects it has on your body. I miss feeling like my parents room on the other end of the hall was a mile away. I miss feeling like i could get lost in my house. I miss being able to hide in just the right closet and knowing that no one would be able to find me. I miss when the consequences for wrong doing were going to bed early without desert. I miss looking up to my parents. I miss when they were the smartest people on earth, when they were the standard of truth, back when they had the answer to all my questions. I miss when my sister was a baby who spoke broken English and the worst thing she could do was mistakenly walk into the edge of a table. I miss how powerful i felt when i was the biggest kid in my grade. I miss not knowing the importance of making distinguished honor roll every quarter for 5 years. I miss when i thought there was some man in the sky who was always watching over me. I miss the support i got from my family when i told them i wanted to be a pro football player and go to Harvard. I miss having no concern about my appearance. I miss when i was still judged by whether or not i had the current game system. I miss how angry i got when losing to my dad in videogames. I miss when the pretend world my childhood friends and i created actually existed. i miss having to come inside when it got dark, quickly eating dinner and begging to go back outside. I miss the contests of who could catch the most fireflies in the summer, and who could build the best snow fort in the winter. I miss believing my dad was superman and my mother was an angel. I miss 3 different Christmases in one day, two different birthday celebrations on my birthday. I miss when pro athletes were heroes, I miss when i thought politicians fought only for good. I miss believing in a higher power. I miss not knowing what corruption was. I miss when i wasnt allowed to watch the news. I miss when drugs scared me. I miss recess. I miss believing i could be president. I miss not being stereotyped. I miss when every adult would smile at me when they passed. I miss being afraid of the dark. I miss when my mom or dad used to lay in bed with me until i fell asleep. I miss my berenstain bears books. I miss Lego's. I miss when they told me i was special, that i was different. I miss thinking i would always be a kid. I miss never being sad. I miss when the world seemed 10x's its actual side. I miss when going to the doctor or the dentist was fun because i knew i would be rewarded candy. I miss not caring about girls. I miss not knowing what poverty was. I miss not seeing color. I miss sneaking to watch Yo MTV Raps & R rated movies with the volume close to silent when my parents were upstairs. I miss not having a sexual appetite. I miss when life was simple, carefree,

I miss being innocent...

Peter had it figured out...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Slowest Form of Suicide

Havent written in a while and i was wondering why. I recognized that it was because i havent been going out much. I spent about two weeks in my house without doing anything social, a small hibernation you could call it. Especially for me because ive gone out just about every weekend for four months. It was nice to have my feet on solid ground for a while i will admit. I appreciated the time away. But back to the topic. This is going to be personal.

The slowest form of suicide: Love.

I believe Ive mastered the ins and outs of all emotions/feelings except love. I believe this is because all other emotions/feelings are logically based. Meaning in sound mind one can distinguish the reasoning behind someone feeling angry, sad happy etc. But love is different, its more intricate. It can make you laugh and cry, its the only (im just going to call it "thing" because i dont know what to classify it as) thing ive seen change people not simply on the surface but alter their very core and change who they are at the source. Now what scares me about love is that something this powerful isnt controlled by either party. You have no say in who you fall in love with. Love chooses you, and once it has, its power renders you powerless. This is the precipice ive reached. Ive been involved with a girl for a little, nothings on paper. But every time i spend time with her she reveals qualities i wasnt aware were important to me. Qualities that make her very attractive to me. With her theres no doubt of authenticity. She has a sense of innocence, which is amplified by kindness. yet when the time is right she frees herself of her inhibitions. She doesnt do so in the presence of everyone she meets, which reveals to me that she trusts me. Since she's willing to reveal a side of which all arent aware it is effortless for me to reciprocate my true self to her. I trust her entirely i would loan her any of my prized possessions because i believe she'd recognize how important they were and treat them accordingly. My true personality has recently emerged, therfore she sees me for who i am. She has no preconceived notions about me, she's unaware of the mistakes ive made along my evolutionary road. She only sees my present and my future and she accepts both completely. She told me she admires the very traits ive been working to develop, the things that make me unique. No one has ever told me theyve admired me Ive been complimented on my looks, my vocabulary, my fashion sense. Those are important to her, but she recognizes theres more to me than those. She told me she appreciates the way I view the world, my general outlook on life, the way i rationalize certain aspects of life that others fail to. I feel each time im with her no matter the duration of the exchange, the rate she absorbs an additional piece of my personality and tendencies are 100% efficient. No word or statement is deemed insignificant. If i say something in good fun but she doesnt recognize the underlying message, the very next time i say something similar she comprehends it entirely. If we're in the car and a song i begin to sing along with comes on, she gains a better idea of my taste and puts on a song she believes ill enjoy similar to the one that proceeded it. She has yet to be incorrect. We mesh well together. She prefers not to say things blatantly, thus she'll release a seemingly small statement with a larger idea behind it because she recognizes the deapth of my speech analysis and that ill recognize the grand idea behind the smaller statement. Ive never had this kind of experience with a girl. Ive been with girls i wasnt certain i liked and others whom i did yet at a lesser degree than i anticipated. I searched to find ideosyncracies i dislike and focus solely on them. Ive began to stop doing so. Ive reluctantly done it with her, though my search for flaws has been unsuccessful. Im completely satisfied. Shes entirely good, she wouldnt hurt anything or anyone intentionally. The only negative aspect lies within me. Someone who ive rightfully conveyed to be close to perfect for me, deserves the best me everyday, without fail. And im not there yet. Ive improved immensely but im not finished. Im not entirely myself yet, im close, i can feel it more and more each day but im not there yet. I refuse to present her with anything other than my maximum potential. Presenting anything otherwise would be disrespectful. We feel rather strongly for each other, and i dont think its right for me to make her wait for me..to finish becoming me. However, I wonder, what if she's what i need to bring me to that finish line? Ive made this transformation solely thus far. What if a companion is needed to help me finish the journey. Hell i said i trust her and i do. Our experiences are unlike anything ive ever had with anyone. If a companion, a partner, is necessary then shes is that. I dont know if im in love with her, but im certain i love her. Ive shared jokes, secrets, memories, realizations, tears and laughs with her.

So if this is the slowest form of suicide...I'll still die laughing.

It'll find you

Sunday, June 21, 2009

City vs Suburbs: The Great Debate

This is a topic that has been on my mind for quite some time, since ive created this blog it seems more than appropriate for it to be addressed. The two environments are polar opposites, hell look at the photographs. Most of my friends and I are more familiar with the suburban scene, the type of areas where someone walking along the street immediately steals your attention as your drive by. The long streets with the original and at times comical names, that go on for the better part of a mile without the interruption of a stop sign or traffic light. Its likely you'll find a pool in the backyard, a basketball hoop in the driveway and the occasional misleading cul de sack . Homes come equip with lots of living space, everyone within the household has an adequate amount of it to themselves. Crime is typically not a problem, the suburbs are a great place to raise a family and enjoy life. I planned to choose the suburbs as the place i wanted to start a family and raise my child. Until recently ive been working towards this goal while spending a lot of time downtown. Doing so has revealed to me that the suburbs lack an element paramount to any environment. Personality. As you drive down the long street/road/avenue/blvd/court or circle with the comical name variation's absence is apparent. An increasing amount of open uninhabited space left in suburbia is being replaced with neighborhoods composed of identical homes that simply vary in color.
Weed's Intro portrays its perfectly:

Its a little exaggerated but the point is conveyed intelligently.

The same independence that accompany suburbs, the fact that everyone has everything they need within their home & makes it unnecessary to leave is what fuels the tediousness. Suburban residents are for the most part on the same schedule, therefore its unnecessary for businesses & other entertaining establishments to be open after a certain hour, meaning life has left those long oddly named streets around 10pm. Suburbs are designed for families, cities are designed to create revenue. Cities are dynamic epicenters of creativity. From the architectural diversity to the population, cities are uniquely beautiful if you have the eyes to see it. Theyre full of lively attractions, museums, theaters, bars, clubs, concerts. Theyre composed solely of infrastructure and entertainment. The population is more diverse because it has to be. Every age & ethnic group meshes with a city like interlocking fingers. People are accepting of more progressive ideals because theyre more evident. What we see in news good or bad typically happen in cities so the people are more in touch with current events and the advocates of both sides are apparent in the population. Its hard to feel separated from a story about the mayoral race when one candidate is purposing a 20% tax increase you'll be paying. Cities are filled with both ends of the socio-economic spectrum. Its not uncommon to see a homeless person walk by a building that houses $3000/month apartments or asleep behind the four seasons hotel. Its hard to ignore a juxtaposition as powerful as this. It humbles you, it reminds you people are succeeding, but some, hell most, aren't. You know crime exists, and not to flash large amounts of money on the streets, because most arent. It fills you with appreciation for your possessions. And the fashion is such a spectacle, you have different people of different ages and races in one place. You'll see a stock broker in a prada suit walk past a student in LRG. Then you have the people who've created theyre style with the best elements of both.
I previously disliked cities because i saw them as cramped dirty areas. They are, but everything has its place and the evils are necessary. Upon this realization i discovered that this is where i want to raise a child. The role of a parent is to prepare their child for independent living in every way possible. It would be irresponsible of me as a parent to make my child ignorant to crime & poverty. I want to raise them in an environment that mimics the "real world" as closely as possible. i want him to see social & racial diversity and extremes, i have to make every possible social option & way of life available to him so he's well informed & such is reflected in the path he chooses. I want to raise him in an area that has history & character. A place that is safe but not sheltered. A place where he can perceive the world as close to its actuality as possible, because as we all know...
Perception is reality.


Free Write 1

These arent going to have any specific topic, theyre simply my current thoughts. Theyll often be sort of scrambled and jump between topics. If your reading...I hope you can keep up.

Woke up this morning hardly feeling new. Its fathers day & i was in a pretty shitty mood to be honest because i was going to brunch for my step dad which got me thinking about my dad and lately thats not something i enjoy doing. Why? Well im not going to make that public right now, but its possible in the future. We went to this spot in manyunk there was live music which was pretty dope, real soulful tunes which really meshed nicely with the overall vibe. I dug it pretty hard, the more time progressed the more i enjoyed myself, I had a good mimosa (one of my favorite drinks) which added to the positive vibe because its been a while since i last had one. after brunch we went to the city and peeped some interior design shops and galleries which really put my mind at ease, Art & design are things i forget i enjoy because im not around them as often as id like to be. whenever i am around them im more relaxed probably because of the intelligence and detail behind them. I came home to find my weekend plans have fallen through and immediately contracted a headache, which has been happening a lot lately & i really dont like that. before i would just get angry or a little disgruntled, later discover the bright side, say "its whatev" and move on, now im experiencing physical discomfort...i dont like that one bit. But writing helps i guess. doing these free writes are more therapeutic than anticipated.
I decided that while in these galleries and stores that i want to adopt a hobby. I dont know which to endeavor. I sort of want to do something with my hands, build something 3 dimensional, something i can look at and say "yea i made that" sort of like the legos i used to play with when i was a kid, i would sit in my room for hours on end and construct buildings, cars and scenarios entirely out of lego's. at christmas i didnt want clothes, i didnt want water pistols or games, i wanted the 89.99 lego set, the one on the bottom shelf of the lego section. the one where a section of a city was to be built. i remember the jungle scenario, the space station scenario. The funny thing is that i never looked at the directions i sat on my floor, stood the box up in front of me and assembled the pieces to mimic what was on the box, the left over pieces were build into additional buildings or used to make cars more elaborate. I remember hating"kennex" someone once bought me a box of kennex for my birthday and i never opened it. for one all the pieces were straight lines, after composing a building anything 3 dimensional, it just looked like the final product wasnt complete. it didnt seem authentic, the bad guy cant hide from the hero in a building completely made of bars....legos just made sense, they were blocks, i could crash a car into a building and get the expected response from each device, the car would have more damage than the building, thats what would happen in reality and thats what i expected in my toy reality. I remember when they released the bigger lego men. they were like double the size of the originals, they still bring a smile to my face, now i had giants in my fantasy world...imagine the joy haha. (my headache is slowly subsiding)
I noticed something about my taste today, im a person who's into classic things, i dont like a lot of flash, i dont really like contemporary trends. We were in a more modern furniture store today and the pieces were interesting to look at, theyre the kind of peices that look cool in music video's in LA houses but i dont think theyre very functional, i think theyre terribly over priced, because contemporary pieces are priced as a piece of art rather than the result of a skilled craftsmen, your paying for the artist's creative idea coming to life. I like pieces made from wood, things that was assembled by a master of the craft. where the distance between the beginning & end result, what it started as and what it is now can be appreciated. I find it amazing the pieces that can be composed from a simple tree in the woods, and i have a special respect for craftsmen and all those who work with theyre hands. A lot of things are digital today, and the skill behind erecting an armoire desk or audamin from scratch is often forgotten..but not by me

Respect Classics

Friday, June 19, 2009

Vans (Blow)

I was in the market for a new pair of shoes. Im a simple guy when you take a step back so i wanted a simple shoe. I wasnt in the mood to make the jump & purchase the "yeezy's" yet, i was feeling classic and i wanted a shoe that agreed with my feeling. Vans had caught my eye a little while back because alot of my friends wear them & i had never given them a try. Being the 19 year old new born that i am i need to give everything i try ive previously written off. I originally thought vans were for hipsters & skaters, & im neither. i was originally set on a pair of black half cabs but i figured its summer & low tops would be more appropriate. i settled on some black and white authentics & couldnt be more pleased fashionably or economically. This further enforces that 90 percent of my preconceived notions are wrong. this is actually the definition of trying new things.

Your looking at Vans fan

Thursday, June 18, 2009

AmericaN History X

This is a film I probably never would've viewed had it not been recommended to me several times. If you've seen it, good. If you havent, watch it. Its a damn good movie. The manner which it flashed back and forth was entertaining & conveyed its message ideally. Edward Norton (who in the first scene exhibits impeccable aim) is just a 'G' on each side he advocates. The film does a great job of portraying the unintelligence behind racism, but also how hardcore some racist were and still are. I must say it made me a little more upset at the word "nigger" Anyone who knows me knows i couldnt care less about the word used in any context. Prior to seeing this film if someone who wasnt African American called me a "nigger" with intent to harm it would bounce off of me. I define a "nigger" as something and someone im not, i take as much offense to it as i would if someone called me giraffe. I suppose its because ive been fortunate enough to have never knowingly been around someone who was truly racist ive never seen them depicted as vividly as this film portrays them. This film made me truly despise anyone who's racist whereas i would previously brush them off and deem their views as ignorance. I now do the same but with a little anger behind my deeming. I appreciate & equally dislike how African-American's have made it a term of endearment. (this is turning into a post about the word "nigger") Wait...im going to go in on this. I dislike the thought behind African Americans calling each other the very word Caucasians referred to us as to dehumanize us. But I do believe wiping the word out turns it to what saying "voldemort" in Hogwarts is. It gives it too much power. And realistically the words never going to be completely wiped out (not with rap music the way it is these days..) In this case the only way to eliminate something that owned you is to own it, and thats whats going on.

Wale says it best:
And P say that I should stop saying nigga,
But if I did, what would be the difference?
I'd still be a nigga, he'd still be a nigga in his feelings,
I'd still be a nigga with no deal tryna get one,
There'd still be niggas out killing,
And still be white people still out to get us,
And still be niggas saying whites tryna get us,
And still be lazy and paranoid niggas,
I'm paramount, nigga, I am, and you can't be mad,
Cuz I choose the word nigga, lemme air it out, nigga,
Nigga ain't bad, see, niggas just had,
A clever idea to take something They said,
Into something we have, something we flipped
Into something with swag, nigga, don't be mad,

I cant debate that.
But back to the movie. The caption "Some Legacies, Must End" fits the film perfectly. I believe the moral of the story is that 'niggers' (the way i define them) never let things go.

'A' or 'Er'?

The Right Time

Im posted here at my desk listening to "regrets" from reasonable doubt, shoe shopping, all of a sudden the line "the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night" finds its in between my debate of whether to buy high or low tops (low). I ask myself 'why did he say that?' the reason is because its true. My stoner days are behind me (1month+) but i realize theres something about the night that makes it the ideal creative environment. I notice ive written everything ive posted here late at night. Why? Because the night is simply more still, more tranquil. Personally, my subconscious mind recognizes that everyone else in my home is fast asleep. The normal noise of fax machines, televisions, microwaves & pre-teen bands that fill the air of my home are replaced with silence. The sound of my creative gears turning soon follows. Darkness is covered in uncertainty. It makes us walk a little lighter because it takes a way a little of the confidence we exhibit during the day. At 3pm you can see miles ahead of you; while at 3am your lucky to see 300ft ahead, I find a certain social security in the dark. It for a lack of better words gets rid of the bullshit. There's no ambiguity in people's intentions at night. The people outdoors are minding their own business or breaking the law. Their professional obligations have ended and theyve chosen to spend a little of their free time away from the monotonous 9-5 crowd that litters the day. {-SIDEBAR- The night reveals your personality in the same parallel going to college does. (what?) In the sense that you could be at home {hell your expected to be at home} but you arent. The same way that after high school you could join the work force or the military, but youve chosen to take the next step in your education. I see them both as examples of taking an extra-step and going further than expected, one socially the other academically. } The safety outside is symbolized by the darkness outside my window & the silence within, upon this dual environmental transformation my creative mind reveals itself as a turtle does from its shell.

Savor the darkness..

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Creme of the Carters

Anyone with a decent taste of music is a fan and/or has respect for this guy. I was originally planning to write this post about Jay, how ive always been a fan & talked him up like everyone else without the depth of knowledge others may have possessed. I recently re listened to reasonable doubt and the blueprint duo and everything in between, virtually every album up to the blueprint 2 and after 5 years of maturing it feels like ive heard them for the first time. I was in literal awe. Now prior to the re listening i thought the race between the two was relatively close. I can say i think now believe otherwise.

Unless youve been exiled from the general public or in outer space you know wayne, what he can do, and your most likely a fan. We've seen what he's done in the remixes of 'knuck if you buck' & both "get em's" ill go as far to say that it is now a symbol that an artist's engineers and protools have succeeded if Wayne has chosen to make their song his own. The early birds recognized the foreshadow Dedication carried. that this mans lyrics and flow were a force to mark a new era and just maybe a new king of hiphop. D2 dropped and the masses grew. Drought 3 followed and broke the flood gates. The two disc set added the suburban population and the uniformed remainder of the hood to the hardcore hiphop heads. The entire country and dare i say most most of the world were now witnesses. Droughts 4-6 followed along with the other tapes combined to make Carter 3 the most anticipated album of our time; sending it straight to platinum in the first week.

I believe a number of things make Jay-Z better than Wayne. The first is history. Jay has simply contributed more to the rap game then wayne. MC's model themselves off of everything Jay has done. He chopped a line from Nas's 'The world is yours', used it as the hook on dead presidents II and when Nas got disrespectful shut him down with the famous "you made it a hot line, i made it a hot song" MC's do those two things to this day. Hov simply sets precedents. He's not out of line by any means by referring to himself as the godfather of rap, because he is. B.I.G or Pac would be but they were taken away. Not to say that its by default either because Jay's absolutely earned the title. He's gained the respect of the world by being the best LP rapper of all time in dropping TEN classic solo albums every year since 1996. All of Jay's albums mesh together perfectly, each album fits together like interlocking fingers. Wayne's best album was 'Tha Carter II', and a rapper must create hit records. Mixtapes are good, but, mixtapes are like how you play in practice, and Albums are how you play in the game and the fact is Albums not mixtapes win awards. And drought 3 was wayne's best performance

Hov plays story teller every time i drops a verse, he intelligently paints a vivid depiction of what he'd like us to see. Wayne brilliantly uses similes & metaphors to talk about money cars violence and drugs. Im not saying its not great, and im not saying its not entertaining. Im not saying i havent stopped a song halfway through on my first time hearing it to catch my breath in disbelief of how he talks about these topics. But what I am saying is that the bottom line is that after each time i listen to one of Jay's songs i feel a little wiser, not smarter like i learned something in class, but rather as if an older relative conveyed a life lesson to me through a rhythmic tale. I exit 4:40 later wiser than when i entered, more humble. Lets be honest you can count the amount of wayne's songs that have actual meaning on both if not one hand. For example, Wayne's "Ignorant Shit" verse with drake is full of exactly what Jay's hook criticizes in the original. I look at Music as something in my life that i need to be able to relate to. I have substance, taste, intelligence and wit. It cant just be entertaining I hold rap at a high standard, I demand to be intelligently entertained, im more complex than everyone else therefore i require lyrics with a certain level of complexity and value. If you hold yourself to the same standard the victor is crystal clear.

S Dot reigns supreme

Got Substance?

Monday, June 15, 2009

Some believe its not the best policy

Recently i wrote in a few honesty boxes. I checked my box, and one the app home page a list of people asked the question "what do you think of me." the ones i knew well enough or had an opinion of i replied. A particular individual had harsh words to my answer. I told her that of what ive seen of her and her actions i believe she's crazy and the way she acts and carriers herself specifically about and around her boyfriend is unbecoming and unladylike. She replied that i was a coward for not saying this to her face, that i was a stalker and i was jealous. i dont like to chew people out but this is bigger than a simple statement and reply in my eyes. people forget that a question is an ideal 50/50 chance, yes or no questions specifically, because the answer can only be yes or no, the chance changes with the situation of course. people ask questions and are offended when they dont receive the answer they desire. The other day i made a sandwich, my sister asked me for half, i replied 'no'. she then replied 'your mean'. Im not mean, i put a decent amount of effort into making the sandwich, and i wanted to enjoy the fruits of my labor, she didnt ask for a bite, which i may have replied differently to, she asked for half, 50%, this isnt a hollywood divorce, you dont get half of what i own when you come to the table with nothing.
Now with questions explained, posting "what do you think of me" in which several hundred people can answer anonymously, it is foolish and irresponsible to believe your going receive several hundred answers your going to like. This girl was upset i didnt respond "girllllllll!!! i love u, your so hotttt <3" as one one of her girlfriends would. [Excuse my french] but fuck you and fuck that. pardon me for taking a question of that caliber seriously, and answering appropriately. that question is very general, there is a lot of room for error, error meaning traits people dislike about you. if she didnt want to hear the dislikes and be showered in compliments she shouldve asked "what do you like about me" then id be an asshole if i responded in the same manner. If i posted that question which i have, im prepared for both sides of the spectrum. thats a question you ask when you want to better yourself, the fact that its anonymous is good. it shows that out of those several hundred people you know or want people to believe you know some perceive you one way some another. Ive received answers i didnt like, i thank them for their honesty, tell them i appreciate it and that im working to become a better person. name calling isnt necessary, honesty & humility are.

you'll never learn anything from those who agree with you

Those in our lives change with the weather

Most if not all of us are familiar with the saying "the people in your life are seasons." I wasnt until a few months ago. Upon hearing the saying i had revelation of sorts, that this saying fit me to a tee. When i was all entirely about girls, my sophomore and junior school years. I talked to a certain friend every night about the days advances and which girl we were planning to ask out that weekend, how the girls in our classes ranked physically, dream girls, drawing up schemes to get ourselves closer to those we desired, and the pros and cons of each girl. The summer after junior year followed this, "summer 07" i label it the start of the drug years. the times when i was smoking a few times a day everyday i talked to and spent nearly all my time with a different friend, our schemes were now about different strand and traits and acquiring knowledge and information on our newly discovered topic, The knowledge i obtained on this topic flourished over the next 2 years and sticks with me to this day. Though the role of my partner in crime changed with the start of senior year, the knowledge i soon found my classmates shared filled the role effortlessly. Now im where i am currently and low and behold in a period of social musical & cinematic critiquing & politicking a new predominant friend has emerged. This statement has put me at peace with a lot of the relationships that have gone sour for whatever reason. I justify to myself that i was a difference person when we were closer and take the most important elements of the relationship, the moral of the story, the best day of the season and keep it with me as i enter the next. It has not made me sad every time i think recall them or see a picture of the other person. rather I simply recall the laughs we've shared applaud their successes wish them the best & hope we can have drink and a few laughs and reminisce about the past in the future. Im reminded that all good things come to an end and knowing this i do not find it difficult to say goodbye.

dont be afraid to say goodbye...