Monday, May 25, 2009

Smoke Free

There comes a time in everyone's life where you have to grow up. My time has come. I have big plans this summer, plans that are going to cost money. Therefore I'm going to need a well paying job currently and in the future. The majority of well paying jobs test potential employees for substances. I came to recognize that I had a choice, continue smoking, attempt to beat the test, or quit smoking. Ive overcome tests before and its definitely possible to do so, but then i realized I'm not a feign, I'm not an addict, to continue to smoke while obsessively thinking of ways to beat the system would prove otherwise. I recalled the saying "dont be sad that its over, be happy it happened" I am more than familiar to smoking, I learned alot from it. I enjoyed the most how it deepened my thought processes and took the limits off of my mind. I have to remember that i dont need to smoke to accomplish this, that it simply acted as a catalyst in showing me thoughts i possessed all along.

I am in the eyes of the law an adult; and am required to act as such. Im required to have reached a certain level of success whether on paper or spiritually in each new season of my life. I realize that the two areas aid each other, meaning I will not truly be happy unless i reach that success in both areas. Quitting smoking is simply a way to help me be more successful on paper. Upon further thinking part of me believes that I'm over it, that that season of my life is over and a new more mature season is commencing. I began to look at my surroundings not location but my surrounding demographic, specifically the people my age i admire. I realized that all of them do not smoke or would only smoke on the rarest of occassions. I cannot help but deam this common denominator as a secret to success. I look at my friends who are a little older than i am, they go out and work their asses off and are successful yet they still have as much fun as i do simply through other avenues. We all believe we are in some way unique but we cannot escape the tendencies of our age group. I'm in an age group who's primary objective is to make successful moves bringing them closer to accomplishing their carreer goals, and i must act accordingly. I'll land a well paying job and save ALOT of money and break a habit i could have been forming a subconcious tendency for.

Yes this is my future, and it is hazelessly clear.

Kick a habit...

Movies That Moved Me

Wow, '95 just showed me it was anything but a game with these two blockbusters. I was in the mood for a mystery so i checked some rating and these two were voted some of the best and rightfully so. The Usual Suspects is a great tale with probably one of the best twists ive ever witnessed in cinema, it was almost like a twist within a twist actually. Seven was just brilliant all the way through, i was more than pleased to see Brad Pitt was starring along side the timelessly consistent Morgan Freeman. To simply say i recommend these movies would be offensive. Both of them instantly made my favorites list. Great length in both of them at just about 2hrs. Consistently capitivating throughout.

Bravo '95...bravo

Thursday, May 21, 2009


Here's the "skinny" on my plans for summer of 2009.

Planned Purchases..

Item One- Louis Vuitton complice trunks and bags key holder (Cudi Inspired):

Item Two- J Crew Classic-Fit Broken-in chino in Nantucket Red

Item Three-Sperry Top-Sider Original Boat Shoe in Blue

Item Four- Air Yeezy's

For additional planned purchases schedule some face time haha.


Roots Picnic...

Definitely Supporting the World Champs...

Learning to surf down the shore...

And of course working to pay for all of this..

Yes it should be a good summer full of hard work, great experiences, and profit. Its my first summer as myself so im happy to be the protagonist witnessing these events first hand.

Make a plan..

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Play To Win

I'm in the process of reading Neil Strauss's "The Game" a novel depicting the story of a dateless gentlemen turned modern day Casanova and the troubles accompanying his transformation. I was attracted to the the book because in person its outward appearance resembles the bible and the cover suggests anything but religion. and im a boy who loves his juxtapositions. I came across a quote that moved me which is as follows:

"There are certain bad habits we've groomed our whole life-from personality flaws to fashion faux pas. And it has been the role of parents and friends, outside of some minor tweaking, to reinforce the belief that we're okay just as we are. But its not enough to just be yourself. You have to be your best self. And thats a tall order if you havent found your best self yet.

Thats why workshops were so life-transforming: We told each student the first impression he made. We arent afraid of hurting his feelings. We corrected his every gesture, phrase, and item of clothing, because we knew he wasnt living up to his full potential. None of us is. We get stuck in old thought and behaivor patterns that may have been effective when we were twelve months or twelve years old, but now only serve to hold us back. And, while those around us may have no problem correcting our minor flaws, they let the big ones slide, because it would mean attacking who we are.

But who are we, really? Just a bundle of good genes and bad genes mixed with good habits and bad habits. And since there's no gene for coolness or confidence, then being uncool and unconfident are just bad habits, which can be changed with enough guidance and will power." (172-3)

Change the big..

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Actually IS too much
(brace yourselves..its pretty damn ignorant)

I love kanye as much as any other fan. His musics fly as fuck, his samples are unlike anything ive ever heard, yes he has a great swagger and yes he has fashion sense. Im a huge fan of 808's as well as his other 3 albums. I respect the years of work he put in to reach the plateau he rests at today. So much so that when people called him cocky I argued in favor of him. Until now.."The Louie Vuitton Don"..ok thats kind of cool, hell ill go as far as to say i wish i thought of it. But "Martin Louie the King Jr!!" Thats easily some of the most disrespectful shit ive ever granted he is in paris and surrounded by tens of thousands of dollars of Louis Vuitton apparel most of which he designed. But have a tad of humility..

Then again he is a gay fish haha
(The auto tune and the haircut....genius)

But in the end no one can hate on the "Yeezy's"

Me & My Drink

I was in Barnes & Noble today reading G.Q Esquire & a few others when i came across a quote in Esquire i felt embodied drinking to a tee through a clean articulate description:

"When you look back on your world with some booze you, at your family, at your home, your troubles, you'll find yourself a little unhinged from expectation, from fear. This is undeniably heady (lol) for a while, for a long while maybe, you surprise yourself, your braver, your sharper, you say some shit you shouldn't, you say somethings that must be said. You sing better, you tell more truths, things seem to get done when you drink. You feel located in the moment and the moment is all that matters. It feels good out there beyond the rules beyond the hand-me-down lessons of school and work, and yes, you'll take another pull."

-Tom Chiarella-
Esquire Magazine

Friday, May 8, 2009

Give Me My Space

I recently added a nasa's photo of the day to the bottom of the blog. Space is a cool way to keep things in perspective, when I have a bad day and it seems like the life is over i remember my problems belong to one being who is a minuscule piece of something much greater..

Keep perspective..

Rain & Smoke

Yesterday in Philadelphia it rained all day. A refreshing drizzle in 70 degree weather quickly turned to torrential downpours. But this rain storm was different. I was at Drexel with foley we had recently relocated to a higher level. Typically after relocating we like to celebrate with a cigarette. But neither of us possessed what we desired. We in our alternative state of mind decided to stand in the rain and wait for a familiar smoker to pass. So here we are two kids standing in pouring rain watching as everyone outside proceeds to frantically scramble every which way towards shelter. We immidiately began to feel disjoint from everyone around us. It was as if we were the only ones aware of our existence, like we were watching the world from a bumble. still experiencing the same weather as everyone else, simply unaffected by it.

what a feeling

soon after this recognition opportunity presented itself...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Paying Homage & SHIIIII

ok so im new to this whole blog schpeel and i want to take a little time appreciate my friend maya [put me on this scene] who i refer to as smitheroo. i met roo (daaamn just nicknamed a nickname haha) early in junior high, it may have been 7th grade or so [i fronted like i didnt have a crush and rated her a 6 and she felt "some type of way" LOL]..we were young haha. She just shouted me out way heavy on her piece [consistently dope piece btw] so i wanted to take the a little time to return the favor. after just using the word "consistent" i now see it as the perfect way to describe our friendship. no matter when we talked heavy or didnt talk much at all, i feel like my and i and a mutual respect for each other and the time when we were damn near best friends. i think we both understand we're growing up and getting into different things. we dont know much of the dirt the other's done which in this case is a good thing because it allows the best friend we see in each other to remain untarnished. Be that as it may we both know we can come to each other with something real and get solid honest feedback. Smiths actually fly as fuck. she's damn relatable and down to earth and is up on shit most girls arent. i just posted a living single clip on her wall the other day and was certain she'd appreciate it as much as i would.

I fuck with u heavy My, love you much and have for years and it warms my heart everytime i see albert. three toy stores to find an elephant [mother almost got heated] and the toys 'r us in cedarbrook deserves just as much credit :)

On a seperate note. Im going to try to spruce this page up a little, im planning to throw on some cover videos and some songs and artists im fond of, let you know im not all deep thoughts and shiiiii..but right now im going to watch south park and meet the sheets


The 19yr Old New Born Explained

You may have noticed that the about me section simply says "the 19yr old newborn" This is a term i created that describes myself to a tee. In the introduction i mentioned that i was raised in impoverished and affluent neighborhoods, have friends from each background etc. The term refers to the following metaphor: Picture the letter "T." Capitalized and laying flat on its back. The horizontal section refers to my personal spectrum. one side being the extreme characteristics attitude and life view of one from an impoverished neighborhood, the other side being the characteristics attitude and life view of one from an affluent neighborhood. The first 10 years of my life i was the extreme of the impoverished side. I didn't care about image, I wanted what all my friends had, new J's and toys, things like that. When i was 10 i started going to CHA. This COMPLETELY flipped me to the other extreme. I mean i walked into CHA my first day and honestly was convinced all the kids were identical. i wasnt familiar with Caucasians in this first person form. my family was fortunate enough to move to a better neighborhood. I spent the next 7 years of my life on the other affluent extreme. concerned with nothing other than shore houses, sports cars and country clubs. Each spectrum made me judge people based on the color of their skin or their socioeconomic background. Even the music i listened to. It was either completely ignorant or just not me. I turned 18 and felt a certain freedom, i got my tatoo symbolizing my freedom and independence. but i still wasnt living what I was claiming I lived by. It took roughly another year, a year full of mistakes i like to label as experiences..all of which ive learned from. thats something im proud of, every mistake ive made has taught me a valuable lesson that will always stick with me. it has also given me a huge respect for...well..the rules; because believe me i broke several. Ive surrounded myself with people i admire who have good morals and great work ethics, real motivating folk, people who bring out the best in me. Alot was lost in the year, long time friendships & alliances, and ive had to tighten my circle greatly but i dont mind, i remember the jokes we made, the hours, blunts and days we burned away and i smile for the good times. A few months ago i turned 19. [Recall the Capitalized T] I believe my life's experiences have moved me to the exact center of the horizantal section. I view the vertical section as moving foreward as who i really am. And right now in this moment i am at the begining of the vertical section, moving foreward, seeing life, the world and people for what they really are. These views are non-biased and new to me: like a new born child. Everything is new to me because ive never had this perspective before. every conversation, debate and experience I have completely fascinates me because it shows how the true me reacts. I know the career i wish to endeavor, and i cannot picture myself doing anything else. I have to remember that life is beautiful (im preaching to myself now, pardon me) and to stay in the center of my T. No! I have to remember that I am not able to leave the center of my T.


Good Conversation

A friend of mine and I had a lively conversation the other day and it went like this:
[G=George D=Don]

G: it is a verry brillant movie!!!!!!! just the history thats involved in the movie is like mind blowing, like i had no clue the germans tried to brain wash blacks into giving uppp like WTF thts why im going to morehouse to learn these silent truthssss
D:thats understandable, there was a season of my life where i considered attending an HBCU, college is supposed to prepare you for independent life, academically and socially and while im sure academics are first rate i feel like separating students into races is isnt consistent with our common society, the united states isnt predominately black. I ... Read Moretoo feel its a bit hypocritical. we as people cant say we want an end to racism and prejudice then band together based upon each of our races. if we as a nation want to move forward people of all colors must all agree to see no color. we must become the change we wish to see in the world. i was very surprised upon learning your enrollment to morehouse, however, i dont want you to think i dont support your choice because i do, im simply stating that it is not the one i wouldve made, but hey, to each his own :)
G:brotha, brotha, brotha... hahahha

I too thought as you did, i at one time did not even support the CHA black Affinity group, i have seen things in the pass couple of months that have shown me that we as a black race have become ignorant to the blatent racism in our society, we feel as though becuase we have many of the same rights as other races ... Read Morethat we are equal and that we have finallly reached the moutain top, we have not. Racism is so strung into our society until its invisibleee. Morehouse was at the bottom of my list until i realized that I didnt know who i was as a BLACK man, i had become a white man because of the CHA society i was apart of. If we wanna move forward we have to Know who we are, that means not just knowing that your skin is black, but knowing that your past in this country has also been black. It surprises me everyday that America still exists because of the past it has had. I am surpriesed how easily we can slither our selves around whites and forget our past.
We have to remmemeber are people and we have to weep at the sight of the old tall oaks which held the necks of our anscetors.. the white race has conned us into believing that all is well and fine, its nottt, white people are quick to change their laws but slow to change their heartssss...... open your eyes brotha, and I PRAY that you will come down and visit me!!!
but thtats not all white people
D:george this is getting good! haha

everything you said i agree with. but when injustice is spotted we must put it in the spot light, we meaning all people of all races, we must take offense to all racism no matter the race it occurs in, i just feel like HBCU's while they provide a more than substantial history of the past that it leave their ... Read Morestudents in the past. the simple fact is that brown people have to stop blaming white people for their problems and yes while many white people are prejudice and/racist many also are not, we cannot live our lives today in anger for what happened hundreds of years ago, (im not saying forget about it but dont let it dictate our present and future). history has to be learned from, was that a dark age of this nation? without question. i feel the only solution is for everyone no matter the race to personally make themselves better people. yes we are both black men, but we are first human beings. will i come visit? name the time and where haha
i cant argue withh any of thatt.... veryy well put sir, very well putt, you are a true orator, you would have done a fineeeee job at morehouse, you are the type of black man that our president Dr.Franklin talks about, a "renaissance man"!!! TRANSFER we need more brillant black minds, we can minee your gold here brotha, you will be surounded by black men who want to raise you up, not tear you down!! transferrrr.. i will be in contact with visitng details lol
i have so much respect for you man, i could have these conversations all day
same here brotha

This was truly one of the best exchanges ive ever had the pleasure of participating in. My only regret was that it didnt take place in person. Two opposing sides both very passionate to their idea yet respectful enough to reference when the other makes a good point as well as compliment the other on their intelligence..BEAUTIFUL. I have a huge respect for good healthy conversations and debates. Few things make me happier than seeing two well educated people pleading their opposing cases against one another. free of name calling and petty and immature remarks simply two human beings attempting to comprehend the root of the others state of mind. This is rare these days you know, todays topics: abortion, presidential policies etc, are so sensitive, ive watched adult men and women act as bickering siblings fighting over a new toy on nationally syndicated news programs. I know and understand that this will always be the case with some, though "some" will most likely be the closed minded. I was very pleased to indulge so eloquently with another having an opposing point of view. Its all good cuz we're both G.O.O.D


A Clockwork Orange & SHIIII

Good afternoon,

I just watched a movie from the 70's called "A Clockwork Orange" a few hours ago. Its a film about a gang of hoodlums in england who just go around beating people up, stealing and raping women...just terrible stuff. The leader alex is soon set up by his three "brother's" and is jailed after committing manslaughter. While in jail he volunteers for an experimental treatment that makes him physically sick when exposed to any type of violence of crime. [Thats all your getting out of me as far as a synopsis haha.] It got me to thinking, in theory a treatment like this would be a great idea. wrong doers would treated and able to be released back into society absolutely cured. It would free up crowded prisons and would indeed make an impact on crime. Upon further thinking I realized its not as good of a treatment as i previously thought. Treatment like this robs people of in essence what makes us human beings, the right to choose between right and wrong. prison is the consequence for choosing wrong/ breaking the law. This treatment eliminates the need for prison, the consequence is now losing your right to choose. It also completely rules out self defense. There in all lies the problem the judicial system and/or the government arent permitted to take away people's right to choose between right and wrong, they simply must provide consequences for each choice. Anyway it was a great movie, it was a full movie, a little over 2hrs long. The length i feel most movies should be.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Introduction, M.O &Tattoo


My name is Don im in my 19 and im located in philadelphia. Ive finally decided to create a blog. i dont know what to expect from this, im not really expecting anything, maybe some opposing input to my posts. ive seen blogs depicted on TV & in the news , my friend maya has one (hello smitheroo) im often very interested in her posts but i couldnt decipher the text so i figured making one would familiarize me with this whole system. Im not saying i made a blog simply because she did but it was definitely a pro.

The main reason i chose to do this is because i see this as a great way to get my current thoughts out in writing, if i have any ideas or feelings i can toss it on here and get it out of my brain. Itll also be cool to refer back to them in the future and look at what my thoughts were. I dont know who will be reading this, it is open to the public therefor i wanted to make few things clear. I view myself as a compilation of many things. things being an umbrella term for styles, views, opinions, others. In my short life time i have had the privilege of living in both impoverished as well as affluent neighborhoods. I have had friends who live in both, who wear girbode's and jordans as well as friends who wear RL's prospect flat front chino and topsiders. I am well versed in both sides and they have combined to make me who I am. Therefore my posts will use language thats eloquent & profound as well as language full of slang and colloquialisms. Make no mistake your going to hear some real shit thats going to provoke thinking everytime. Either way whether you agree or disagree with my thoughts. I want whom ever is reading this to know that i respect your opinion as a human being and would love to hear any input: likes dislikes opposing and concurring points of view, everything is welcome. All i ask is that you be respectful because i sure as hell will.

In case you were wondering L.F.D.L the name of this blog is an acronym for "
Live Free Die Laughing" which is the phrase i have my tattooed on my arm. I got it on the 4th of July in fact. its a phrase my buddy terrence and i thought up about how to live. i believe one should...well live free, find out who they are as a person and everything they do or put their hands on should embody/resemble who they are. If i painted a picture id want people..people who know me at least, to say "thats suits his personality to a T" The 2nd part is what people sometimes get confused. Most see "die laughing" as kind of a radical statement advocating recklessness and living haphazardly. When infact the thought behind it refers in a way to living free. Living free leads to happiness, happiness is symbolized laughing. Thus the statement means do what you love until you die. if you live this way and by chance you are able to see death coming, you can look back with on your life with no regrets and you'll truly be able to laugh in the face of death. Fly Right? haha i think it is....
Thats the only Tattoo i have because its the only one i needed. Its a bold statement in a subtle location. the best of both worlds..Looking forward to more of these

Be Cool
D.L Ward II